Don't Misunderstand Me

I Want Your Vote!

Introduction

Welcome to the third installment of the runaway-hit book series Don’t Misunderstand Me. If you’re looking for a humor-filled and, dare we say, sarcastic or perhaps brutally honest view of what politicians say versus what they actually mean . . . sit back, relax, and read on.

At some point in history, weren’t elections held only once a year? Now it seems there is an explosion in the number of politicians and political offices, and elections take place every couple of months. Whether the political stage is local, state, or national, the candidates parade around with the same recycled messages election after election.

With the increase in the number of elections comes the staggering number of political speeches from candidates who are stumping for your vote. Over and over again, we hear the same phrases and promises. How is it possible that so many candidates speak, at the core, very similar messages?

Could it be that politicians secretly share something in common in their DNA? Perhaps they share a secret book of phrases. Once a phrase is spoken and deemed “politically correct,” it becomes a sacred part of a secret book. Or could it be that they simply never tire of hearing their own voices? If only the electing public could say that they never tire of hearing their voices and their messages.

Whether it’s attacking opponents, attacking the opposition party in its entirety, making promises that are seemingly impossible to fulfill, or telling a few whoppers about their own backgrounds, politicians just can’t be stopped.

A quick look through the editorial pages provides endless descriptions of politicians and their messages: nonsense,
infuriating, misleading, flip-flopping, insensitive, fear-mongering, failing, slamming, debunking, attacking, defending, double-talking, and distorting.

The descriptions of politicians’ actions are nearly as mind-numbing as the actions of the politicians themselves. It seems there is no end in sight to the routine. Politicians continue to spread their messages, and the voting public grows more and more disenfranchised with the process. So what are we to do? In our opinion, laughter is good medicine.

In some sense, it could be considered optimistic to believe that there is actually more thinking behind these favorite phrases, and we dare to hope that is the case! Even more human-like, perhaps there is a bit of political incorrectness behind all the politically correct language?

We’ve set out in this book to gather some of the phrases politicians like to repeat, in some form or fashion, ad nauseam. We then put on our thinking hats to determine what politicians might actually be thinking while they speak these phrases. When they say they want to save the world and cut taxes, are they really thinking “yeah right” or perhaps “when pigs fly”? No, maybe they are actually thinking “but first I must run to my phone booth and put on my super-hero outfit!” That one gets our vote.

Call it cynical. Call it negative. We just call it good clean fun and laughter. After all, why spend your life taking things seriously when you have the choice to lower the frustration threshold and just enjoy some good laughter. At this point in time, the evidence of history seems to indicate that politicians are not about to change their tunes or their messages.

After you read this book, we hope you find yourself wondering what politicians are really thinking when they speak and then replace a few moments of frustration with your own laughter.

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